I downloaded Tinder. Before you get all judgemental, let me give you a little context. The Tinder ad in Japan shows a Japanese girl who appeared to be struggling with learning English and one night she decided to swipe right and magically, she met a pink-haired lady whom she went out singing karaoke with. It’s all about making friends and language exchange apparently and that’s what I wanted also, to make new friends in this social Siberia that I have jumped into with arms wide open. Also I’m single, and it would be great to go on a date sometimes.

So yes, I downloaded Tinder. Most pictures I saw were of people whose faces were either blurred out, or ridiculously filtered they look like some anime character, or simply pictures of cars, food, cats and dogs. I mean some of them were bottomline creepy also – yes, I think I will swipe right to a guy whose profile picture is a picture of a cat eating a bun angrily. Yes, I think I would like to be friends with a blurry thumb picture or a wing of an airplane or a plate of cheese. The only people whose pictures you can see properly are the navy dudes from Sasebo, a nearby town with a US military base. Some of them look pretty decent but once you start talking to them, you realise they are daft as brushes and most of them after one thing and one thing only. I don’t mean they all are like that of course – there must be decent people but I guess the planets are not aligned for me to meet any decent people yet. Also the nature of jobs around here just means that you are either on a short-term contract or on a long-term contract (like me) but you have plans to move on somewhere afters. I guess there is a whole plethora of reasons for why Tinder is probably not a good place to find friends or even for dates. But I need not worry about judging myself even because Nagasaki takes the cake and shames the term slim pickings and makes it an understatement.

Anyway fast forward to a couple a weeks ago where I have swiped left so many times that Tinder finally came up with this message, “You have no one to match you in your vicinity” (or something like that) and they asked me increase my search radius and to where? All the way to Tokyo? LOL. I have exhausted Tinder with my left swipes. Ladies and gentlemen, I have run out of men and women on Tinder in my area.

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