I am in no way qualified to give any advice to anyone on relationships and feel free to not take my word for it. I am not a shining paragon of good choices but perhaps because of that exact reason, maybe you should take my word for it. I used to be that girl who guided her decisions to stay in a relationship because I did NOT want to be alone. I was only brave enough to accept that and rectify that not so long ago so now my mantra for myself these days is: Don’t be afraid to be alone.
In any relationship, if you have to force it, then it’s probably time to walk away. Anything that involves grovelling, chasing and sacrificing body parts like your brain fall under that category. I guess what I’m trying to say is be happy, be in love, but also be in love with yourself and your dreams. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to be alone. I’ve seen both old and young people staying in stale relationships because they don’t want to be alone. Society bombards us with images and ideas of the fulfillment of being in a relationship constantly. You see it in movies made for all ages. Rarely do they show us that it’s okay for the lead character to be alone at the end of films. In my culture, if you are not married and have a family at a certain age, peopel start to question if there is something “wrong” with you and they do this to your face sometimes. From personal experience, if you ever have to go through that situation, just remember to tell yourself, ‘fuck that’ and also remind yourself that you don’t need that sort of negativity.
The reality is this – being alone doesn’t mean you’re any less important or less attractive or less in any way whatsoever. Being in a relationship is also not the ultimate happiness, or an achievement in itself. Being alone means you have all the time you need to build a meaningful life with the longest relationship in your life – with your amazing self. So don’t be in a relationship to avoid being alone. Give yourself that time you deserve. Also, ladies, if you have some time, read Florence Given’s Women Don’t Owe You Pretty. It’s empowering, articulate, relevant, and entertaining. 🙂