I have never imagined being in Japan. Before I got the job offer from Japan, I applied everywhere including Afganistan and Iraq (which I got the job offers from by the way). I was desperate for some kind of change. I wanted to leave Chiang Mai because I have been there forever. Just when I thought I will stop trying, I got a job offer from the British Council in Thailand. I took it and met the most amazing people there.
Just when I was feeling at home somewhere, this amazing job offer came in. I took it because I know I will always wonder if I didn’t take it. So I packed my bags and left. I had one suitcase and one backpack.
Now I’ve been here in Nagasaki for about 9 months. My things have multiplied and it surely won’t fit into a single suitcase anymore but I’m sure I can throw most of my old stuff away because they don’t “spark joy” anymore. After all, this is where Marie Kondo is from. I miss Thailand dearly. I miss the ease, my old room, the cheap and delicious fruits and food, the gym, weekend cafe-hopping and the community of friends I had there. This makes me wonder sometimes why I’m here. I guess I don’t like that Japan makes me think about life in a different way, the way I have been avoiding my whole life. A harsh look at reality.
I feel homesick sometimes when I talk to my parents and my sister. But I don’t really know where my home is anymore. It makes me sad because I guess I want to belong somewhere. But I still don’t know where that place is or if it even exists.
But I know one thing. Being alone in Japan so far has taught me to value friendship, and family more than ever. I have a brand new sense of recognition for the few but meaningful relationships I have built over the years. I am never one to filter my thoughts or pretend. So I know that if anyone is still friends with me up until now they definitely get me. I think that’s a good realisation and any place that makes you think of this can’t be that bad (so I keep telling myself).
I have many things I want to say. Some relatable, some funny, some about Burmese literature, some about the amazing books I have read just to name a few and the list goes on. I also want to write. I have always been a writer. I just don’t like sharing it with others. However, I started this blog because it’s something I have been meaning to do for a long time. So here I am and my first post – a bit dry just like my skin at the moment from all the swimming. But hang in there – it will get colourful in the most ridiculous ways sooner or later. So watch this space. 🙂